Thursday, May 8, 2008

Soap Opera Game Show

I read some spoilers that hadn't been updated today and my response was, "Wha? That's happening right now? Really. Whoa. Can't be." I'm currently watching GH on super-fast-forward. I feel like I'm playing Name That Tune:

Contestant #1: Yes, Guza. I can follow that plot in 4 minutes.

Guza: And Glo...will you counter?

Glo: Yes, Guza. I can follow that plot in 2 minutes.

*Crowd goes silent as episode starts*

Glo: Jason is a jackass who doesn't even acknowledge his child's birthday. Mob, mob, more mob. Claudia is Carly is going to sleep with Jason is making no sense. Slow down for 1 moment to watch Robin. And faux-Carly cries while Michael is soap-opera aged. Enjoy one moment of Sonny & Carly's almost-interesting plotline. Oh, sad, very little Diane. And done."

Guza: Excellent! 1 minute and 45 seconds! And now the bonus question: What is the plot?

Glo: The Godfather pays tribute to Kramer v. Kramer.

*bell rings to signal BIG WIN*

Guza: Congratulations! You've won this round of NAME THAT PLOT!


It's all very depressing. I can't stand Jason. I feel his loss and yet I can't even think about him enough to grieve. He just makes me sick. As for the rest of the show? Well, as Guza returns to his usual illogical writing style, the actors faces have regained that "What is this?" look that I used to say was 'bad acting' but now recognize as intelligent actors trying to force words out of their mouths in order to pay the bills. It's just plain misery from opening line to end.

Hate the Michael aging. Hate the Claudia/Jason stuff. Hate Maxie's blue pants. But Sebastian Roche can kiss me anytime.

I'm so glad that I still have All My Lost ER Episodes and One Life to Love for entertainment while General Misery is in the land of the great SUCK (Has ABC promised Guza he can put whatever he wants in that time slot if he can kill GH??!!). OLTL has all these lovely little romantic stories (Is it worth mentioning that OLTL has mainly FEMALE writers??!!) - I haven't been so girly and giddy over a teenage love story (not Starr & Cole - it's Rex & Gigi reliving high school romance - you remember romance? That thing on GH not seen for at least 5 years? It's still quite a lovely part of daytime on other shows.) since I was a girl. I'm only upset that they're rushing things for sweeps. I could have sighed over Rex & Gigi through Rex having 5 kids with Adrianna. It's the kind of adorable relationship that has me mumbling "stop being so moral" at the TV. (C'mon - Adrianna is Evilyn Evil. I can't root for her happy ending.) I had hoped the introduction of Brody would slow things down even more. I am savoring this story like a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. I don't care how common, if the story is well-told, it's timeless.

Oh, wait. This blog is about General Misery. *sigh* I guess I'm grateful for Tivo.

1 comment:

BellaKarma said...

"The Godfather pays tribute to Kramer v. Kramer."