Or, I guess, I used to...

but now GH is just the thing that makes me go, "Wha?!"

She was (almost) back...

*Gasp*

My response to last Friday...

My Elizabeth. The one that hits so close to my heart's home it hurts. The one who loves and risks and has a studio...she was there.

*sigh*

For a moment. Then she was gone again...I guess Guza must have been on vacation when the lovely, liberated, exciting Elizabeth found her way back to Jason and her art and her impulsive nature.

It was lovely while it lasted.

So, here's my favorite new fanvid in honor of the carrot often dangled before the viewers...



Now it's back to hating Jason (I just can't care about him anymore) and being annoyed that the mob has cost me all my vicarious romance.

Stop teasing me!

Synopsis: Jason & Sonny came to understand one another's motives. Elizabeth tried to connect with Jason. Sam & Lucky had a stilted excuse for make-up sex while Carly & Jax faced the finale. LuLu & Johnny's summer o' love came to a tragic end.

Okay. That's it. I can take no more. Just when I get used to the idea that I hate Jason and will never have Liason...there they are...reminding me that Jason could have a future.

But no.

Not 5 minutes later, Jason and Sonny make up. We're back to the boring starting place. I'm supposed to care about the mob, cry over the reconciliation, cheer for the resolution...

But I do not.

There is nothing interesting left in that storyline. Jason's few scenes with Elizabeth brought more life to Jason than 100 gunfights.

So, on to the stuff I don't fast forward...

I have mixed feelings about the Johnny/LuLu scenes this week. On one side, I thought Johnny was sweet (and the writing lovely) as he explained that he would help LuLu avoid the craziness that affected his whole family. I felt very emotionally connected with them. However, I thought the final scene with LuLu screaming as Johnny was dragged off a little over-the-top. I wanted Johnny to turn himself in as an exchange for LuLu's health. Okay, that's tragic, too. It just seemed a lot too much-ish to watch drama at LuLu's commitment become overwhelmed by drama at Johnny's arrest.

But, all in all, Johnny & LuLu were lovely and tragic and everything I wanted them to be.

Huh. I don't hate it.

Synopsis: Something was going on with Jason that I didn't watch until Spinelli came to invite Jason on a stakeout and Diane offered to file for $500/hour. Claudia and Nicholas established a partnership with the aim of rescuing not-so-fair maiden LuLu and marred-hero Johnny. Elizabeth bantered with new hot-doc while Robin and Patrick prepared to discover the gender of their baby.

I almost don't know what to do with myself. I'm so accustomed to watching GH in the 35 seconds it takes to fast forward a complete hour on Tivo. But, no, I've been pausing...not to use the bathroom or take a phone call...but to watch.

I still find Carly, Sonny, and Jason as interesting as belly button lint. If it weren't for Spinelli and Diane stumbling into scenes with this group I would probably spend just as much time with them as I do my belly button lint.

...but the rest of GH is good lately. I enjoy Nicholas Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde love affairs. Sweet Jolene - I was so happy she kissed him and equally enthralled to watch him grow a partnership with Claudia.

I've learned to like Claudia when she's not draped all over "Johnnie." I think she's a good foil for her daddy and I want her to take over the mob. Blah. Hate the mob, but if anyone can do it good, it's Sarah Brown. (Then Jason can leave and...yeah, I know, I've sung this song again and again.)

Speaking of daddy issues, I'm finally a Patrick fan. I've not enjoyed him during his "wild bachelor" years. I thought Robin could do better (which is saying something since I've not been a Robin fan). However, the scene at the end as they revealed that a baby girl will arrive was lovely, tender, and familial. I had to take back at least one mean thing I've said about the GH writers this summer.

One last note - I am so happy to see Cody back! I wish he weren't wrapped up with the mob because all I can hear when he talks is blah blah mob blah. Still happy to see him!

i liked it yesterday - i really did!

I always enjoy a runaway storyline in the summer. Johnny is adorable. I have no faith that GH writers won't mess up any and every love story but they've got some lovely glimmers of hope right now. Johnny/Lulu - sure, they're not forever, but they're great for now. Max & Diane are just lovely. Nadine and Nicholas may be the cutest thing since wrist-ducky, and I still really like LuSam (though I would like to suggest that Kelly Monaco stop doing whatever gives her those terrible bags under her eyes because she looks like she parties way too hard).

I yawn at the mob. I'm so-so-so tired of the mob. The Port Charles mob. The New York mob. Now the Russian mob. Oh yawn. Enough already. Gangs have long since taken over mob territory. I realize that ghetto-gangs living in poverty kinda ruin the glamour of the soap opera lifestyle but so be it - at least it would have a glimmer of reality.

Alas, I haven't watched GH closely enough to give more commentary. I'm still so mad of Liason's piffle out once Guza was back in charge that I can't watch a whole episode. I have yet to figure out if all the dead-beat dad storylines are meant to be social commentary or a diatribe against us "little women" forcing fatherhood on all these otherwise lovely people. But there's promise in some of the storylines.

Of course, nothing holds a candle to One Life to Live who seems to have dusted off the "soap opera glory days" bible. Their 40th anniversary storyline that drug all the current characters back into the past has been fun, tongue-in-cheek amusement. Bo and Rex (who don't yet know that they're father and son) have been flung back in time to play the roles of Asa and Bo long in the past. Asa was not the greatest man but he was soap opera fun - he slept with everything and married so often that no one remembered how often. So, now Bo, the most righteous of the sons, is stuck in the past as a stand-in for his dad. What's the kicker? Well, one of Asa's many liasons is a woman who is currently played by Gigi. Rex is upset as he just barely realized the depth of his feelings for "Morasco" and Bo can't figure out if he should maintain the future by carrying on with Emma/Gigi or just hope it's all a bad dream. What a great wedge to throw between Rex and Gigi just as Brody steps up his game in order to try and win Gigi's affection and permanent place on the Dad Roster for poor Shane.

On that topic, Brody has won me over completely. I enjoy a bad boy redemption (though my personal life is a sad testament to why these storylines are mere fiction). Brody has so many demons that I feel we could exorcise one a month and keep him going through 2010. Yet I'm a sucker for him. Ever since he chose to stay in Llanview to protect Gigi from the evils of Dorian and Adrianna, I've known that Brody was my pick. I feel disloyal to Rex - I fell back in love with OLTL as I watched him avoid his re-emerging feelings for Gigi - but he was a putz who chose the easy path with Adrianna rather than be a brave little toaster during a time of confusion. So, I choose Brody. After Brody kissed Gigi, I begged her to give in to him. I adore the guy. Alcoholic though he is (and OLTL is full of alcoholics at present) and filled with demons. A guy who sticks around just to protect you even when he has nothing to gain? Come on, honey....not many of us get that kind of guy.

So, yeah, I'm enjoying OLTL over GH right now...but I've started watching again and I see some promise (enough to start blogging again).

What were they thinking?

Again, I puzzle over the inordinate power the Guza war engine must wield in the world of daytime. An Emmy for Best Drama?! For what?! For driving away viewers at an alarming rate?

I'm sorry but it's 85% horrible. If I weren't interested in Patrick & Robin at the moment I would have bailed the moment Claudia and Jason started sharing screen time. I'll admit that The Metro Court hostage crisis was sheer daytime genius, so maybe the Emmy people were thinking of that alone...and I would understand but, seriously, do they not watch the soap beyond the submission?

And then I read this rumor about Guza in contract talks...why doesn't ABC save some money and the fans by promoting Conforti and telling Guza he can write anything he wants so long as it doesn't have anything to do with storyline or character development unless the storyline happens to have 'sweeps' potential. I've always thought the dream situation would be Guza coming up with great Sweeps stunners but letting Conforti and the crew staff it based on the lovely little storylines they created during the writers strike. *sigh* I miss that strike.

Grr. Argh. GH and a sad, sad lack of Gigi on One Life to Live has made me a very disgruntled soaps viewer this summer. I need to find a good telenovela to pass the time.

Spoiler Reading

So, I'm scrolling through the spoilers and I have this really great realization: if they kill off Jason, I will be free to stop watching this drivel! I have no other hold. I will have to accept there will never be a Liason, that the Quartermaines will never reunite...that it's all over. And I'll be so free! Free, I tell you! Free!

I don't know anyone who is still watching. I plug along but everyone - even hard core soap fans and General Hospital viewers of 20 years - has fallen by the wayside. I cannot imagine why ABC is letting this happen. I wish I could read that contract (or have it for my job). No matter how awful, how many viewers are lost, how tragically low the ratings....no one steps in to save General Hospital.

I've enjoyed Patrick & Robin, though. The scene with the baby kicking was very cute. I am a perenially single career woman who doesn't have her own sitcom - but I know that one of the major challenges of our generation has been to convince men to be fathers. I am at the stage where most of my galpals and I are perusing lists of sperm donors on the web, talking about creating partnerships for childcare, and lamenting the loss of men who want to be dads. We know plenty of single men willing to have sex with just about anyone but very few who want to be dads. Even the guy I'm dating - who seemed like he wanted to settle down - recently admitted that he doesn't want to have children in his home. I sigh and start looking again while I peruse the web and save the cash for some frozen genetic material - but the whole experience has made me enjoy Patrick & Robin more. I undestand Robin's hesitance to trust Patrick. Most of the women in my circle have dated dozens of men and heard the same non-responsibility storyline (in short - Jason's line - my job, my life, my self is more important than any small being I may create). So, when a guy starts to adapt, I think we don't even dare believe that we could have a partner in anything. We are too accustomed to having to do everything on our own. The idea of partnership - it's too new, too scary, too risky. And the more I understand Robin, the more I recognize the amount of fear and loneliness offered to all the Patricks of the world. Society has really taught them nothing about the need to sacrifice to children. Then the women step in and do this really wonderful thing but shut them out. We curse and complain and really it's everyone's fault. Society has served no one by belittling and destroying the partnership that creates happy, healthy children. Men live up to 15 years longer and have more sex if they're married - regardless of how happy the marriage may be - but do they know that? Nope. They just wander around believing that they're better off with freedom from responsibility and porn for day when the women are less available. I wonder now when the Patrick phenomenon will hit any of these guys...or if that's just a media invention, too - like the fulfilled career woman who 'has it all' without feeling exhausted, lonely, and broke.

Of course, I love the Zacchara family. I'm just sick of the mob! Mob, mob, mob, mob, MOB! It's the reason everyone I know has stopped watching and I agree! NO MORE MOB! Okay - past that rant - Johnny and LuLu are adorable. I would love to watch them BRING DOWN THE MOB! Okay - it was one last little rant. I'm not sure where they're going, though. This is usually the stage that the Guza-powered bus stalls out and somebody gets kicked out to lighten the load. After all, we have to power the FRIKKIN' MOB! Okay, okay....I'll try and control myself. But I hope that we get to see a little love conquers all (but not without some serious drama).

I still don't get what's going on at GH, though...blackmail? Mob threats (ha ha, that would be ironic - maybe this whole horror is Guza's plea for aid as he tries to escape a past he can't erase...not likely but hecka funny)? An evil conspiracy to get the soap industry out of the healthcare business??!!

And that brings me back to OLTL. I am seriously addicted to GiGi Morasco. Seriously. She's the realest thing to hit a soap opera in ages. She's innocent yet resilient. I love watching her be manipulated by Dorian and Adrianna. As she stood up at the wedding to declare her feelings for Rex, I squirmed because I wanted to shelter her. And that made the entrance by Brody - disgusting and gross and unromantic as he really is - feel like a fairy tale. Because I want someone to help GiGi. I want her to find love. I liked her with Rex - but I also want her to help Brody and be saved from Adrianna. I even wanted her to date Jared!

It doesn't matter where you put her - I heart GiGi. She made me laugh when she said, "I know. It's so high school." You can believe in GiGi. Her mistakes are human even when somewhat unbelievable. Her attempts and failures in her never-ending attempt to make her childhood mistakes right endear her to me. I want her to tell the truth because GiGi wants so badly to tell the truth.

I get frustrated when I don't see GiGi for days and yet I want to savor the character. In time, GiGi will become like the rest of Llanview. She'll lose her freshness, her honesty, her romanticism. Like my beloved, Liz (who once reminded me of GiGi), over time she'll become hardened, confused, and sullied by the way American soap operas operate. So, for now, I want it to drag out at a snail's pace. I want to enjoy my GiGi well into the next sweeps. At the very least.