She was (almost) back...

*Gasp*

My response to last Friday...

My Elizabeth. The one that hits so close to my heart's home it hurts. The one who loves and risks and has a studio...she was there.

*sigh*

For a moment. Then she was gone again...I guess Guza must have been on vacation when the lovely, liberated, exciting Elizabeth found her way back to Jason and her art and her impulsive nature.

It was lovely while it lasted.

So, here's my favorite new fanvid in honor of the carrot often dangled before the viewers...



Now it's back to hating Jason (I just can't care about him anymore) and being annoyed that the mob has cost me all my vicarious romance.

What were they thinking?

Again, I puzzle over the inordinate power the Guza war engine must wield in the world of daytime. An Emmy for Best Drama?! For what?! For driving away viewers at an alarming rate?

I'm sorry but it's 85% horrible. If I weren't interested in Patrick & Robin at the moment I would have bailed the moment Claudia and Jason started sharing screen time. I'll admit that The Metro Court hostage crisis was sheer daytime genius, so maybe the Emmy people were thinking of that alone...and I would understand but, seriously, do they not watch the soap beyond the submission?

And then I read this rumor about Guza in contract talks...why doesn't ABC save some money and the fans by promoting Conforti and telling Guza he can write anything he wants so long as it doesn't have anything to do with storyline or character development unless the storyline happens to have 'sweeps' potential. I've always thought the dream situation would be Guza coming up with great Sweeps stunners but letting Conforti and the crew staff it based on the lovely little storylines they created during the writers strike. *sigh* I miss that strike.

Grr. Argh. GH and a sad, sad lack of Gigi on One Life to Live has made me a very disgruntled soaps viewer this summer. I need to find a good telenovela to pass the time.

Oh. My. Gosh. And....You have GOT to be kidding me.

All right. Today is out of my system. I'm going to flash back to yesterday when I didn't have to resist the urge to toss a vase through my television set.

I love me some Johnny and LuLu. They are about the most confused people on the GH planet...a feat fit for kinds. I was happy to see him playing the piano again and talking like a sane person. Because Brandon Barash is HOT and we've already got two cold as ice men on GH. Even though it was a bit contrived, the sexy "to save you" was straight out of romance heaven. I only wish they had built the tension a bit - a little you know you want to is good for the romantic soul.

Still, Brandon Barash is HOT. Almost unbearably so. He's that gorgeous, schoolboy with a bad edge. Girls have been going wild over this guy since....well, I'm pretty sure the first cave baby came about because cave woman had a secret thing for that barely-evolved specimen just outside her door. Times may have changed - as evidenced by the fact that we like our bad boy with a sensitive, intelligent side - but we still go weak in the knees for a leather-wearing boy with big dimples.

So, while everything else is still in fast-forward land, Johnny & LuLu are worth a second glance.

Soap Opera Game Show

I read some spoilers that hadn't been updated today and my response was, "Wha? That's happening right now? Really. Whoa. Can't be." I'm currently watching GH on super-fast-forward. I feel like I'm playing Name That Tune:

Contestant #1: Yes, Guza. I can follow that plot in 4 minutes.

Guza: And Glo...will you counter?

Glo: Yes, Guza. I can follow that plot in 2 minutes.

*Crowd goes silent as episode starts*

Glo: Jason is a jackass who doesn't even acknowledge his child's birthday. Mob, mob, more mob. Claudia is Carly is going to sleep with Jason is making no sense. Slow down for 1 moment to watch Robin. And faux-Carly cries while Michael is soap-opera aged. Enjoy one moment of Sonny & Carly's almost-interesting plotline. Oh, sad, very little Diane. And done."

Guza: Excellent! 1 minute and 45 seconds! And now the bonus question: What is the plot?

Glo: The Godfather pays tribute to Kramer v. Kramer.

*bell rings to signal BIG WIN*

Guza: Congratulations! You've won this round of NAME THAT PLOT!

*******************************

It's all very depressing. I can't stand Jason. I feel his loss and yet I can't even think about him enough to grieve. He just makes me sick. As for the rest of the show? Well, as Guza returns to his usual illogical writing style, the actors faces have regained that "What is this?" look that I used to say was 'bad acting' but now recognize as intelligent actors trying to force words out of their mouths in order to pay the bills. It's just plain misery from opening line to end.

Hate the Michael aging. Hate the Claudia/Jason stuff. Hate Maxie's blue pants. But Sebastian Roche can kiss me anytime.

I'm so glad that I still have All My Lost ER Episodes and One Life to Love for entertainment while General Misery is in the land of the great SUCK (Has ABC promised Guza he can put whatever he wants in that time slot if he can kill GH??!!). OLTL has all these lovely little romantic stories (Is it worth mentioning that OLTL has mainly FEMALE writers??!!) - I haven't been so girly and giddy over a teenage love story (not Starr & Cole - it's Rex & Gigi reliving high school romance - you remember romance? That thing on GH not seen for at least 5 years? It's still quite a lovely part of daytime on other shows.) since I was a girl. I'm only upset that they're rushing things for sweeps. I could have sighed over Rex & Gigi through Rex having 5 kids with Adrianna. It's the kind of adorable relationship that has me mumbling "stop being so moral" at the TV. (C'mon - Adrianna is Evilyn Evil. I can't root for her happy ending.) I had hoped the introduction of Brody would slow things down even more. I am savoring this story like a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. I don't care how common, if the story is well-told, it's timeless.

Oh, wait. This blog is about General Misery. *sigh* I guess I'm grateful for Tivo.

The end is the beginning is the end is the end is the end....

In my best SNL Wayne's World voice....



HATED IT!



I made it through 10 minutes before I deleted the whole horrible episode. The end of Liason is a sniveling hyper-romantic statement by Elizabeth with nothing from Jason.



HATED IT!



So, where to go now....



I'm so grateful that this is the 2nd to last post until I go to London for a week. This horrible GH day coming on the heels of personal romantic disappointment...if someone wants to hit the "Redo" button while I'm away, I won't mind one bit.



HATED IT!

Desperately Seeking a New Couple

I am now thoroughly spoiled and must reveal that I have not much hope especially since I am seeing signs of Carly on her way to a reconciliation with the Quartermaines. Oh for the love of Pete...we don't need another shrill, self-interested barracuda in that house. We need Lilah. We need Emily.

But I digress. Regardless of my personal feelings on the matter, I know soaps and no couple is permitted more than 3 years from start to finish of relationship.* I hadn't done the math until recently, but we're approaching 2 years since the night of passion for Liason and - if memory serves - the Liz/Jason friendship had been rebirthed about 6 months prior to the NOP. So, even if my beloved couple makes it through the present crisis, I will only be able to enjoy them for another 6 months...or, in Becky Herbst's own words "30 seconds."

So, I'm shopping. No one will ever be Liason but there's some promise. It will be a bit like getting kicked out of Whole Foods and forced to shop at the local Stop N Shop attached to a gas station...but that's still better than starving to death.**

First up in my grab-bag are Nicolas and Nadine. I adore Nadine. I expected her to disappear after the ball. She was so interesting and pragmatic during the Black & White Ball. I loved her commentary. So, I was happy to see her become the main nurse on my screen. Like Nurse Amy, Nadine just made you think that life is a bit funnier than everyone realized. I enjoy listening to her wax on about the pediatrics unit - granted, it's a topic very near to my heart. She was adorable with Spencer today...but she may be too lovely for Nicolas. I'm ready for him to finish brooding. But I'm willing to give them a chance - depending on how much longer Nicolas broods.

Scrubs is next on my list. Funny, eh? I did not like them one bit until Robin got pregnant. Patrick was cute when he called her to ask if she needed a father for her baby. Now it's Robin's turn to be a growed up girl. I like the realism here - the two adults who can't seem to finish maturity and I think they have super-couple potential...if they survive the 3-year axe.

I have to admit that I enjoy the young couples but I was disturbed to read that Guza is "looking for a love interest for Spinelli." If I'm not wrong, he has one - Maxie. They're quite lovely together and would make a really good "almost-there" couple. You know the kind - everyone can see that they're going to end up together but it's nonstop caper before they each accept that the attraction is mutual and probably long-term.

And then there's Johnny and LuLu, of course - great tragic romance all over the place. When even Luke is pointing out that (my favorite line) "dating is not negotiating a cease fire in a mob war - that's insanity" then you know you have the makings of a long, long journey to a very sad yet deliciously savored ending for what could be another super-couple (because Brandon is HOT and LuLu is played by a good little actress).

In closing, I was so happy to see some Monica, Edward, Tracy and Alan on my screen. In my opinion, the best "couple" on GH is the Quartermaine family. Would to the PTB that Monica, Edward, Tracy, Alan (may his ghost live on forever), Jason, Liz, and Jake (with Cameron as the un-wanted next generation - I'm evil, I know, but I want to believe my daughters will be addicted to GH) become standard fare on my television.

SAVE THE QUARTERMAINES!


*The biggest complaint I hear from ex-soap fans is that "the couples keep changing" so if soap writers and networks really wanted to invest in the genre, they'd stop this ridiculous trend. In youth, we all change loves frequently but by our middle lives, we learn that rapid & changing love affairs are unhealthy and bring only sadness. Each character should be allowed to find their true love and be with that person for the rest of their time on the soap. Each stage of life brings challenges and joys - only a lack of creativity can't figure out how to make families as interesting as the first sexual experience with a partner - and, to be honest, even those encounters have lost their "hotness" since it's always the beginning of the couple's end. But I read some articles about GH's 40th birthday that made me believe that ABC doesn't care if GH lasts another 40 years. I think they're pretty much just waiting for us old fans to lose our purchasing power. But if you ask me, soap writers need to spend some time in the romance aisle. This soap has all the ingredients but the writers don't seem to understand how to mix it all together to make a yummy romance. Here's one important element: no one reads a romance for a tragic ending. So, get your hope on....love really can survive. And without love, there is no hope for soaps.

**Still, I may choose a slow painful death over Jason/Carly...oh no, oh no, oh no! Okay. That's out. I am so grateful for Tivo when I see this pairing be introduced as the transition away from my beloved Liason. I have shuddered to think of the future - Carly's manipulations to get Jake away from Elizabeth. A repeat of Michael's storyline....oh spare me!

The mourning period

I'll admit it's been more intense than expected. I was watching GH and I thought "wow, this sucks" and then I went back to the start and there was no Garin. I spent a few days in complete, abject grief over the change back to guns, guns, and more guns - the loss of a possible Jason transition and the rapid switch in Johnny's character - the lack of good Scrubs moments - and the quick clean-up of what had been really interesting storytelling. It was harsh. Very, very harsh.

There was glimmer yesterday, though, and I've noticed Michael Conforti is still listed as a writer. Maybe ABC learned a little something. I wouldn't mind some Guza plot action combined with some Garin-esque people-writing. That would be rockin' awesome. But, alas, when I saw some lovely Liason and Jax/Carly (what is their acronym?) - all I could think was, "Well, this must be the kiss of death for 2 romances."

I still haven't forgiven Guza for the gross Carly/Jason sequence when she was drowning. Blech. The only thing worse than Jason being 100% back to the mob would be Jason 100% with Carly in the mob. An flame me if you please. I love Carly but never liked her with Jason - she's Sonny's true love and a pretty good mate for Jax. That's really enough for one woman.

But I'll stop being so grumpy and be grateful for what was good yesterday: Jason's tearfulness as he spoke with Monica, the nice Liason moment, and the Jax/Carly moment in the nursery. That was good drama. And I'll enjoy it...while it lasts.

Since I know that non-stop gunfire is soon to be a reality, I've found myself in a momentary love affair with One Life to Live in order to assuage my pain. Rex and Gigi are so adorable - all that confusion and hidden attraction...reminds me why I fell so hard for soaps back when I was young and idealistic...just a good old-fashioned romance over there at OLTL. If you find yourself licking wounds over GH, you may want to see what the neighbor has to offer.