If I close my eyes, will it end sooner?

They're kidding me, right?

We're not really doing who done it x 2, right? It's not possible. It's a level of ridiculousness that I can't fathom. So - we don't know who killed Emily, who the text message killer could be, who's the daddy of half the town....and now we have to play who struck Sam? I'll admit I was tempted but I seem to be the ONLY person not on the road that night. As if the mob, a serial killer, and a thoroughly inept police force weren't enough to make Port Charles the least safest streets in America...and that's before I complain about "who struck Sam" being the vehicle (pun intended) to break up Liason (again) and LuSam (who I love) in order to put JaSam and Luz back together....I'm so glad...I was afraid the characters would change, grow, and develop - do really wacky stuff like find out love can be found in unusual places....learn to forgive, be a family and support each other in new ways...sick idea isn't it?! Phew. Thank heavens all soaps are plot-based now so I don't have to go through the ordeal of emotional maturity!

That said....can you believe Carly and Sonny slept together again? They have the hottest sex. Oh, wait. That wasn't Carly. Massive flashbacks, eh? I've always loved Sarah Brown. I hope she has sex with Jerry next. That would be hot. Ewww...can you imagine her with Jax? Ick. (Side note: I kinda like the Kate & Jax stuff...is that awful of me? I just find her too vanilla for Sonny...and what's with the "I broke his heart" stuff - as though he's never had sadness before? Uhm....someone needs a shot of humble.) Maybe she could have sex with Lucky, too. Yum. Not Jason, though. I always thought they looked like brother and sister. Guess that means Johnny's off the market - and, dang, I wanted to see Brandon Barash....okay, moving on. Let's see, after Sonny, Jerry, and Lucky, she could give Mac a reason to grin...he needs a little somethin' somethin'. And then....oh, the plot? Did we need one? Why? Sarah + [insert hot guy] = sex-based ratings, baby (and requires no writer - double score!).

Ah. Criticizing GH makes a bad, emotional week a little more bearable. Especially when one has been accused of being complicated, dramatic, and difficult - GH is like coming home and kicking the dog.