My Political Conundrums....and other rants

Or, I guess, I used to...

2009-06-22T13:40:00.001-07:00

but now GH is just the thing that makes me go, "Wha?!"

She was (almost) back...

2008-09-02T21:16:00.001-07:00

*Gasp*

My response to last Friday...

My Elizabeth. The one that hits so close to my heart's home it hurts. The one who loves and risks and has a studio...she was there.

*sigh*

For a moment. Then she was gone again...I guess Guza must have been on vacation when the lovely, liberated, exciting Elizabeth found her way back to Jason and her art and her impulsive nature.

It was lovely while it lasted.

So, here's my favorite new fanvid in honor of the carrot often dangled before the viewers...

Now it's back to hating Jason (I just can't care about him anymore) and being annoyed that the mob has cost me all my vicarious romance.

Stop teasing me!

2008-08-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Synopsis: Jason & Sonny came to understand one another's motives. Elizabeth tried to connect with Jason. Sam & Lucky had a stilted excuse for make-up sex while Carly & Jax faced the finale. LuLu & Johnny's summer o' love came to a tragic end.

Okay. That's it. I can take no more. Just when I get used to the idea that I hate Jason and will never have Liason...there they are...reminding me that Jason could have a future.

But no.

Not 5 minutes later, Jason and Sonny make up. We're back to the boring starting place. I'm supposed to care about the mob, cry over the reconciliation, cheer for the resolution...

But I do not.

There is nothing interesting left in that storyline. Jason's few scenes with Elizabeth brought more life to Jason than 100 gunfights.

So, on to the stuff I don't fast forward...

I have mixed feelings about the Johnny/LuLu scenes this week. On one side, I thought Johnny was sweet (and the writing lovely) as he explained that he would help LuLu avoid the craziness that affected his whole family. I felt very emotionally connected with them. However, I thought the final scene with LuLu screaming as Johnny was dragged off a little over-the-top. I wanted Johnny to turn himself in as an exchange for LuLu's health. Okay, that's tragic, too. It just seemed a lot too much-ish to watch drama at LuLu's commitment become overwhelmed by drama at Johnny's arrest.

But, all in all, Johnny & LuLu were lovely and tragic and everything I wanted them to be.

Huh. I don't hate it.

2008-08-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Synopsis: Something was going on with Jason that I didn't watch until Spinelli came to invite Jason on a stakeout and Diane offered to file for $500/hour. Claudia and Nicholas established a partnership with the aim of rescuing not-so-fair maiden LuLu and marred-hero Johnny. Elizabeth bantered with new hot-doc while Robin and Patrick prepared to discover the gender of their baby.

I almost don't know what to do with myself. I'm so accustomed to watching GH in the 35 seconds it takes to fast forward a complete hour on Tivo. But, no, I've been pausing...not to use the bathroom or take a phone call...but to watch.

I still find Carly, Sonny, and Jason as interesting as belly button lint. If it weren't for Spinelli and Diane stumbling into scenes with this group I would probably spend just as much time with them as I do my belly button lint.

...but the rest of GH is good lately. I enjoy Nicholas Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde love affairs. Sweet Jolene - I was so happy she kissed him and equally enthralled to watch him grow a partnership with Claudia.

I've learned to like Claudia when she's not draped all over "Johnnie." I think she's a good foil for her daddy and I want her to take over the mob. Blah. Hate the mob, but if anyone can do it good, it's Sarah Brown. (Then Jason can leave and...yeah, I know, I've sung this song again and again.)

Speaking of daddy issues, I'm finally a Patrick fan. I've not enjoyed him during his "wild bachelor" years. I thought Robin could do better (which is saying something since I've not been a Robin fan). However, the scene at the end as they revealed that a baby girl will arrive was lovely, tender, and familial. I had to take back at least one mean thing I've said about the GH writers this summer.

One last note - I am so happy to see Cody back! I wish he weren't wrapped up with the mob because all I can hear when he talks is blah blah mob blah. Still happy to see him!

i liked it yesterday - i really did!

2008-07-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy a runaway storyline in the summer. Johnny is adorable. I have no faith that GH writers won't mess up any and every love story but they've got some lovely glimmers of hope right now. Johnny/Lulu - sure, they're not forever, but they're great for now. Max & Diane are just lovely. Nadine and Nicholas may be the cutest thing since wrist-ducky, and I still really like LuSam (though I would like to suggest that Kelly Monaco stop doing whatever gives her those terrible bags under her eyes because she looks like she parties way too hard).

I yawn at the mob. I'm so-so-so tired of the mob. The Port Charles mob. The New York mob. Now the Russian mob. Oh yawn. Enough already. Gangs have long since taken over mob territory. I realize that ghetto-gangs living in poverty kinda ruin the glamour of the soap opera lifestyle but so be it - at least it would have a glimmer of reality.

Alas, I haven't watched GH closely enough to give more commentary. I'm still so mad of Liason's piffle out once Guza was back in charge that I can't watch a whole episode. I have yet to figure out if all the dead-beat dad storylines are meant to be social commentary or a diatribe against us "little women" forcing fatherhood on all these otherwise lovely people. But there's promise in some of the storylines.

Of course, nothing holds a candle to One Life to Live who seems to have dusted off the "soap opera glory days" bible. Their 40th anniversary storyline that drug all the current characters back into the past has been fun, tongue-in-cheek amusement. Bo and Rex (who don't yet know that they're father and son) have been flung back in time to play the roles of Asa and Bo long in the past. Asa was not the greatest man but he was soap opera fun - he slept with everything and married so often that no one remembered how often. So, now Bo, the most righteous of the sons, is stuck in the past as a stand-in for his dad. What's the kicker? Well, one of Asa's many liasons is a woman who is currently played by Gigi. Rex is upset as he just barely realized the depth of his feelings for "Morasco" and Bo can't figure out if he should maintain the future by carrying on with Emma/Gigi or just hope it's all a bad dream. What a great wedge to throw between Rex and Gigi just as Brody steps up his game in order to try and win Gigi's affection and permanent place on the Dad Roster for poor Shane.

On that topic, Brody has won me over completely. I enjoy a bad boy redemption (though my personal life is a sad testament to why these storylines are mere fiction). Brody has so many demons that I feel we could exorcise one a month and keep him going through 2010. Yet I'm a sucker for him. Ever since he chose to stay in Llanview to protect Gigi from the evils of Dorian and Adrianna, I've known that Brody was my pick. I feel disloyal to Rex - I fell back in love with OLTL as I watched him avoid his re-emerging feelings for Gigi - but he was a putz who chose the easy path with Adrianna rather than be a brave little toaster during a time of confusion. So, I choose Brody. After Brody kissed Gigi, I begged her to give in to him. I adore the guy. Alcoholic though he is (and OLTL is full of alcoholics at present) and filled with demons. A guy who sticks around just to protect you even when he has nothing to gain? Come on, honey....not many of us get that kind of guy.

So, yeah, I'm enjoying OLTL over GH right now...but I've started watching again and I see some promise (enough to start blogging again).

What were they thinking?

2008-06-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

Again, I puzzle over the inordinate power the Guza war engine must wield in the world of daytime. An Emmy for Best Drama?! For what?! For driving away viewers at an alarming rate?

I'm sorry but it's 85% horrible. If I weren't interested in Patrick & Robin at the moment I would have bailed the moment Claudia and Jason started sharing screen time. I'll admit that The Metro Court hostage crisis was sheer daytime genius, so maybe the Emmy people were thinking of that alone...and I would understand but, seriously, do they not watch the soap beyond the submission?

And then I read this rumor about Guza in contract talks...why doesn't ABC save some money and the fans by promoting Conforti and telling Guza he can write anything he wants so long as it doesn't have anything to do with storyline or character development unless the storyline happens to have 'sweeps' potential. I've always thought the dream situation would be Guza coming up with great Sweeps stunners but letting Conforti and the crew staff it based on the lovely little storylines they created during the writers strike. *sigh* I miss that strike.

Grr. Argh. GH and a sad, sad lack of Gigi on One Life to Live has made me a very disgruntled soaps viewer this summer. I need to find a good telenovela to pass the time.

Spoiler Reading

2008-05-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

So, I'm scrolling through the spoilers and I have this really great realization: if they kill off Jason, I will be free to stop watching this drivel! I have no other hold. I will have to accept there will never be a Liason, that the Quartermaines will never reunite...that it's all over. And I'll be so free! Free, I tell you! Free!

I don't know anyone who is still watching. I plug along but everyone - even hard core soap fans and General Hospital viewers of 20 years - has fallen by the wayside. I cannot imagine why ABC is letting this happen. I wish I could read that contract (or have it for my job). No matter how awful, how many viewers are lost, how tragically low the ratings....no one steps in to save General Hospital.

I've enjoyed Patrick & Robin, though. The scene with the baby kicking was very cute. I am a perenially single career woman who doesn't have her own sitcom - but I know that one of the major challenges of our generation has been to convince men to be fathers. I am at the stage where most of my galpals and I are perusing lists of sperm donors on the web, talking about creating partnerships for childcare, and lamenting the loss of men who want to be dads. We know plenty of single men willing to have sex with just about anyone but very few who want to be dads. Even the guy I'm dating - who seemed like he wanted to settle down - recently admitted that he doesn't want to have children in his home. I sigh and start looking again while I peruse the web and save the cash for some frozen genetic material - but the whole experience has made me enjoy Patrick & Robin more. I undestand Robin's hesitance to trust Patrick. Most of the women in my circle have dated dozens of men and heard the same non-responsibility storyline (in short - Jason's line - my job, my life, my self is more important than any small being I may create). So, when a guy starts to adapt, I think we don't even dare believe that we could have a partner in anything. We are too accustomed to having to do everything on our own. The idea of partnership - it's too new, too scary, too risky. And the more I understand Robin, the more I recognize the amount of fear and loneliness offered to all the Patricks of the world. Society has really taught them nothing about the need to sacrifice to children. Then the women step in and do this really wonderful thing but shut them out. We curse and complain and really it's everyone's fault. Society has served no one by belittling and destroying the partnership that creates happy, healthy children. Men live up to 15 years longer and have more sex if they're married - regardless of how happy the marriage may be - but do they know that? Nope. They just wander around believing that they're better off with freedom from responsibility and porn for day when the women are less available. I wonder now when the Patrick phenomenon will hit any of these guys...or if that's just a media invention, too - like the fulfilled career woman who 'has it all' without feeling exhausted, lonely, and broke.

Of course, I love the Zacchara family. I'm just sick of the mob! Mob, mob, mob, mob, MOB! It's the reason everyone I know has stopped watching and I agree! NO MORE MOB! Okay - past that rant - Johnny and LuLu are adorable. I would love to watch them BRING DOWN THE MOB! Okay - it was one last little rant. I'm not sure where they're going, though. This is usually the stage that the Guza-powered bus stalls out and somebody gets kicked out to lighten the load. After all, we have to power the FRIKKIN' MOB! Okay, okay....I'll try and control myself. But I hope that we get to see a little love conquers all (but not without some serious drama).

I still don't get what's going on at GH, though...blackmail? Mob threats (ha ha, that would be ironic - maybe this whole horror is Guza's plea for aid as he tries to escape a past he can't erase...not likely but hecka funny)? An evil conspiracy to get the soap industry out of the healthcare business??!!

And that brings me back to OLTL. I am seriously addicted to GiGi Morasco. Seriously. She's the realest thing to hit a soap opera in ages. She's innocent yet resilient. I love watching her be manipulated by Dorian and Adrianna. As she stood up at the wedding to declare her feelings for Rex, I squirmed because I wanted to shelter her. And that made the entrance by Brody - disgusting and gross and unromantic as he really is - feel like a fairy tale. Because I want someone to help GiGi. I want her to find love. I liked her with Rex - but I also want her to help Brody and be saved from Adrianna. I even wanted her to date Jared!

It doesn't matter where you put her - I heart GiGi. She made me laugh when she said, "I know. It's so high school." You can believe in GiGi. Her mistakes are human even when somewhat unbelievable. Her attempts and failures in her never-ending attempt to make her childhood mistakes right endear her to me. I want her to tell the truth because GiGi wants so badly to tell the truth.

I get frustrated when I don't see GiGi for days and yet I want to savor the character. In time, GiGi will become like the rest of Llanview. She'll lose her freshness, her honesty, her romanticism. Like my beloved, Liz (who once reminded me of GiGi), over time she'll become hardened, confused, and sullied by the way American soap operas operate. So, for now, I want it to drag out at a snail's pace. I want to enjoy my GiGi well into the next sweeps. At the very least.

Hark...is that a romance on the horizon?

2008-05-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

Huh? What? Was it swap day at ABC? Did the OLTL writers get to take over GH for a day? Is that why I've got a stormy night bringing all the couples on my wishlist into each other's arms?

Johnny & LuLu...oh yummy. Tortured love is just so right with you two.
Liz & Jason? I had thought you gone forever. I'm so busy hating on Jason...don't go trying to win me back (and, Liz, sweetie. You're a mom. Try to keep it together.)
Jax & Kate? Whoa. I....really....someone else noticed that chemistry? I'm big-time opposed to adultery so I hope this one doesn't go far yet...but I love them together.

And that brings me to...Sonny & Carly. Life is only right when you two are in each other's orbit. Some people were just cut out of the mud for one another. There's no one makes sense for either of them but the other one. I know they'll never hold it together - but that's what makes it fun.

The only "hm" was Nicolas NOT getting a scene with Nadine. What? Why? When we got to see precursors of sex all around for the couples we adore? Nic crazy over Emily nee Claudia? I thought we had accepted that the truest love Nic could have for Emily was to get on with his life.

Oh, well. It's little to complain about with a Friday that makes me happy to be a GH fan. I watched the whole episode and spent a moment sighing over the possibilities for Monday. But Guza's name is still on my screen so I'm prepared for a big ole heap of disappointment. For tonight, though, I dream of happy love stories for all my much-loved characters & couples.

2008-05-15T20:06:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Gosh. And....You have GOT to be kidding me.

All right. Today is out of my system. I'm going to flash back to yesterday when I didn't have to resist the urge to toss a vase through my television set.

I love me some Johnny and LuLu. They are about the most confused people on the GH planet...a feat fit for kinds. I was happy to see him playing the piano again and talking like a sane person. Because Brandon Barash is HOT and we've already got two cold as ice men on GH. Even though it was a bit contrived, the sexy "to save you" was straight out of romance heaven. I only wish they had built the tension a bit - a little you know you want to is good for the romantic soul.

Still, Brandon Barash is HOT. Almost unbearably so. He's that gorgeous, schoolboy with a bad edge. Girls have been going wild over this guy since....well, I'm pretty sure the first cave baby came about because cave woman had a secret thing for that barely-evolved specimen just outside her door. Times may have changed - as evidenced by the fact that we like our bad boy with a sensitive, intelligent side - but we still go weak in the knees for a leather-wearing boy with big dimples.

So, while everything else is still in fast-forward land, Johnny & LuLu are worth a second glance.

Soap Opera Game Show

2008-05-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

I read some spoilers that hadn't been updated today and my response was, "Wha? That's happening right now? Really. Whoa. Can't be." I'm currently watching GH on super-fast-forward. I feel like I'm playing Name That Tune:

Contestant #1: Yes, Guza. I can follow that plot in 4 minutes.

Guza: And Glo...will you counter?

Glo: Yes, Guza. I can follow that plot in 2 minutes.

*Crowd goes silent as episode starts*

Glo: Jason is a jackass who doesn't even acknowledge his child's birthday. Mob, mob, more mob. Claudia is Carly is going to sleep with Jason is making no sense. Slow down for 1 moment to watch Robin. And faux-Carly cries while Michael is soap-opera aged. Enjoy one moment of Sonny & Carly's almost-interesting plotline. Oh, sad, very little Diane. And done."

Guza: Excellent! 1 minute and 45 seconds! And now the bonus question: What is the plot?

Glo: The Godfather pays tribute to Kramer v. Kramer.

*bell rings to signal BIG WIN*

Guza: Congratulations! You've won this round of NAME THAT PLOT!

*******************************

It's all very depressing. I can't stand Jason. I feel his loss and yet I can't even think about him enough to grieve. He just makes me sick. As for the rest of the show? Well, as Guza returns to his usual illogical writing style, the actors faces have regained that "What is this?" look that I used to say was 'bad acting' but now recognize as intelligent actors trying to force words out of their mouths in order to pay the bills. It's just plain misery from opening line to end.

Hate the Michael aging. Hate the Claudia/Jason stuff. Hate Maxie's blue pants. But Sebastian Roche can kiss me anytime.

I'm so glad that I still have All My Lost ER Episodes and One Life to Love for entertainment while General Misery is in the land of the great SUCK (Has ABC promised Guza he can put whatever he wants in that time slot if he can kill GH??!!). OLTL has all these lovely little romantic stories (Is it worth mentioning that OLTL has mainly FEMALE writers??!!) - I haven't been so girly and giddy over a teenage love story (not Starr & Cole - it's Rex & Gigi reliving high school romance - you remember romance? That thing on GH not seen for at least 5 years? It's still quite a lovely part of daytime on other shows.) since I was a girl. I'm only upset that they're rushing things for sweeps. I could have sighed over Rex & Gigi through Rex having 5 kids with Adrianna. It's the kind of adorable relationship that has me mumbling "stop being so moral" at the TV. (C'mon - Adrianna is Evilyn Evil. I can't root for her happy ending.) I had hoped the introduction of Brody would slow things down even more. I am savoring this story like a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. I don't care how common, if the story is well-told, it's timeless.

Oh, wait. This blog is about General Misery. *sigh* I guess I'm grateful for Tivo.

A Frustrated GH Fan's Fairy Tale

2008-04-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in a kingdom called Los Angeles, there lived a man named Robert Guza. Guza was a prince, though he had some dreadful qualities that were suppressed by his love for a beautiful yet unnamed woman barely appearing in this story. Ah, Guza was so happy in love. His beloved was everything sweet and kind but - as often happens in fairy tales - a dark wizard placed a curse on the woman. The child born of Guza's great love (or maybe his mother - but definitely a woman somewhere near him) was a twisted, sickly little thing. As women sometimes do, Guza's beloved became devoted to her offspring. She took the small, almost unheavenly creature to doctor's appointments and cooed over the unsmiling thing to help it take less pain during its short period on earth.

Guza was enraged! How could a woman love that sightless and hideous small person more than him! How could he be so neglected! Guza transformed from a handsome prince into an angry festering wound of a man. He watched The Godfather to cover up the sounds of his beloved's betrayal, growing more and more obsessed with the power a good gun may bring. Eventually, he tossed the ungrateful mutt out in a fit of pique! He was enraged, abandoned...and never again would he love. No, he was as strong and cool as a hitman. He had taken his problems to the mattress.

Now Guza is transformed into a formidable he-man woman-hater who exacts his revenge on the one thing he could never take from his beloved - her love for General Hospital. Guza struts in front of a giant poster in his office with all the characters and all the stories he megomaniacally controls. He peruses the Internet and as soon as he sees happiness in the hearts of any female, he marks the board with a horrific red 'x'. He will kill, kill, kill all the females who he is certain have betrayed their men through love of....*gasp*.... children. Women stroll in and out but are little more than bedmates for the Fortress de Guza. His relationships change faster than gas prices in southern California. Love is a myth. There is only loss.

Oh what a sad tale to tell! Will there ever be hope for this beauty turned beast? Will it happen before we are all subjected to the unexpected aging of Michael? Or, worse, before Jason sleeps with anyone he's been paired with while forgetting the birthday of his only child? I think not. This is a tale of fairy tale horror and it will unfold before your very eyes. Oh - rue the day that Guza was betrayed! Hear these words - all women will pay!

Finished catching up. Noticed that we are in the midst of yet another "woman loves child more than man" storyline and felt Guza's pain. Cried for him. Felt for him. Hoped he would get a therapist really soon and get over it so he could write us a decent love story.

In the meantime, I'm so in "awww" over Gigi and Rex on OLTL. If you need a good love-fix go and watch them in all their angst. I didn't know I'd love Gigi when she was introduced - her acting was not-so-stellar but she's just perfect as the slightly rough & rumble girl from the sticks who is driving Adrianna to become her conniving mother's daughter.

Back...but far from prepared to blog!

2008-04-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

I have returned but not yet spent time with Tivo...so here's your chance!

Tell me what YOU liked over the past week of GH? Feel free to rant about what you didn't like. Your input will help me to decide how much fast-forwarding I do of the past 6 Tivo submissions.

Oh - and London was tres magnifique. Really. So many people speaking French that I worried I had gone to the wrong country. Regardless of language, though, I am madly in love with England (but their TV and soap operas make me grateful for US programming).

I made it through almost half today

2008-04-17T00:38:00.000-07:00

For the first time, I don't like Jason. I'm glad he's suffering. I'm so mad at him that I grumble through all his scenes. May the depth of his heartbreak drive him to repentance. May it heap upon him in big, miserable, gut-wrenching doses. The louse. The traitor. Filth! Garbage! He had love and he threw it away! Threw it away like garbage. And that's what he is. So bow to him! Bow to the King of Garbage, the King of Putrescence.

It's amazing how much of The Princess Bride I can quote. I didn't google a word of the above. And, while I did it mostly because it was funny, I feel that way. Jase - for the first time in years - I say you earned this life. So, live it, dude. You could have had something lovely and you chose garbage. You stink. Yeah, I said it. I can smell you from here, fella.

Well, at least Diane and Alexis were great yesterday. I like Diane and Max - not great romance but just plain funny. I would love to see more Diane and Alexis, Maxie and Spinelli, and Quartermaine manor just for the sheer comic relief during a season of hating on Jason. I'm sure everyone remembers that Luke & Laura were as much fun for the caper as for the love story. Wouldn't it be fun to have some silly caper? Especially since I threw my hands in the air with hopelessness after Robin fell into bed with Patrick. Guza once again proves that romance is a long lost cause in the genre supposedly all about romance!

So, in summary, I hate Jason right now. I think that covers it. Oh, and everyone should watch One Life to Live. Rex and Gigi with Adriana turning eeeeevil - it's just soap fabulous. Yeah, you heard me GH. I'm cheating on you. Because Jason deserves it. Dumb, stupid Jason. Walk away from love ... force me to listen to a whiny Elizabeth speech....yeah, you hear me! Johnny is a better you than you'll ever be! Okay. That didn't make sense. I get this way when I'm moping.

I think you should give Johnny the gun and your blessing and get your butt over to your family before I come home from England...yeah, you heard me. You big, dumb jerk. What?! You gonna cry now? Oh - only about Michael. Not about your son. Well, you'll be sorry. You'll miss me. Don't come lookin' here for compassion. Nope that well done dried.

Big, stupid thug.

The end is the beginning is the end is the end is the end....

2008-04-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

In my best SNL Wayne's World voice....

HATED IT!

I made it through 10 minutes before I deleted the whole horrible episode. The end of Liason is a sniveling hyper-romantic statement by Elizabeth with nothing from Jason.

HATED IT!

So, where to go now....

I'm so grateful that this is the 2nd to last post until I go to London for a week. This horrible GH day coming on the heels of personal romantic disappointment...if someone wants to hit the "Redo" button while I'm away, I won't mind one bit.

HATED IT!

Quick! I've Been Tagged and Am Now Reusing My Own Jokes!

2008-04-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I was a blogger with style - it was the early days of blogging and "tagging" was all the rage. A few days have past since that time but Quiltersal was adorable enough to tag me and so off we go...

Zee Ruuuuuulezzz
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random things about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Oy! Vay! On the last 2 Rules...I'll have to get to that later (though Ashlin, baby, you're gettin' one)....for now, here are my 7 things to cover up how much I HATED IT on GH today...

1. I see no problem in thinking and talking about character on GH as though they were real people manipulated by a vicious god who refuses their sacrifices. Yep. Totally ok by me.

2. I have been a bystander in all of the following situations: small-town murder, Category IV hurricane, a drug war in a 3rd world country, 2 floods and 2 forest fires. Hang out with me at your own risk.

3. I am currently laughing at my niece who has written words to accompany the Aloha Scooby Doo theme song. They go like this "It's a mouse. Dee deee dee. Go Scooby. Dee deee dee."

4. The only time I have successfully lost weight without pharmaceutical assistance was on a diet I invented called the Ice Cream Diet. I ate a small breakfast and lunch and then stopped at Cold Stone Creamery every night for dinner. Miracles do happen, my friends.

5. I never got into Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys but I loved the Nancy Drew-Frank Hardy romance mysteries. In fact, all my favorite books are romances at heart.

6. I started watching soaps at age 4 with my grandmothers. At church, I listed the Dallas theme song as my favorite song and sang it to the entire group of children. My mother was graceful enough to stop me before I told them the lyrics I'd written...

7. The most common compliment I get in the course of a week is: You sure type/text fast. Yep. These fingers are speed demons. I typed this faster than you read it. I can take word by word dictation AND write a novel at the same time. I probably need a life.

Bonus: I have discovered that women who knit and read really dig GH blogs written by me. We're a specific demographic but we've got STYLE.

I tag....Nancy, Ashlin, Lola and Ava, Anne, Allison, and...that's it. Everyone who has ever read this blog. Thanks, guys!

That's what you get for reading this blog!

Desperately Seeking a New Couple

2008-04-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

I am now thoroughly spoiled and must reveal that I have not much hope especially since I am seeing signs of Carly on her way to a reconciliation with the Quartermaines. Oh for the love of Pete...we don't need another shrill, self-interested barracuda in that house. We need Lilah. We need Emily.

But I digress. Regardless of my personal feelings on the matter, I know soaps and no couple is permitted more than 3 years from start to finish of relationship.* I hadn't done the math until recently, but we're approaching 2 years since the night of passion for Liason and - if memory serves - the Liz/Jason friendship had been rebirthed about 6 months prior to the NOP. So, even if my beloved couple makes it through the present crisis, I will only be able to enjoy them for another 6 months...or, in Becky Herbst's own words "30 seconds."

So, I'm shopping. No one will ever be Liason but there's some promise. It will be a bit like getting kicked out of Whole Foods and forced to shop at the local Stop N Shop attached to a gas station...but that's still better than starving to death.**

First up in my grab-bag are Nicolas and Nadine. I adore Nadine. I expected her to disappear after the ball. She was so interesting and pragmatic during the Black & White Ball. I loved her commentary. So, I was happy to see her become the main nurse on my screen. Like Nurse Amy, Nadine just made you think that life is a bit funnier than everyone realized. I enjoy listening to her wax on about the pediatrics unit - granted, it's a topic very near to my heart. She was adorable with Spencer today...but she may be too lovely for Nicolas. I'm ready for him to finish brooding. But I'm willing to give them a chance - depending on how much longer Nicolas broods.

Scrubs is next on my list. Funny, eh? I did not like them one bit until Robin got pregnant. Patrick was cute when he called her to ask if she needed a father for her baby. Now it's Robin's turn to be a growed up girl. I like the realism here - the two adults who can't seem to finish maturity and I think they have super-couple potential...if they survive the 3-year axe.

I have to admit that I enjoy the young couples but I was disturbed to read that Guza is "looking for a love interest for Spinelli." If I'm not wrong, he has one - Maxie. They're quite lovely together and would make a really good "almost-there" couple. You know the kind - everyone can see that they're going to end up together but it's nonstop caper before they each accept that the attraction is mutual and probably long-term.

And then there's Johnny and LuLu, of course - great tragic romance all over the place. When even Luke is pointing out that (my favorite line) "dating is not negotiating a cease fire in a mob war - that's insanity" then you know you have the makings of a long, long journey to a very sad yet deliciously savored ending for what could be another super-couple (because Brandon is HOT and LuLu is played by a good little actress).

In closing, I was so happy to see some Monica, Edward, Tracy and Alan on my screen. In my opinion, the best "couple" on GH is the Quartermaine family. Would to the PTB that Monica, Edward, Tracy, Alan (may his ghost live on forever), Jason, Liz, and Jake (with Cameron as the un-wanted next generation - I'm evil, I know, but I want to believe my daughters will be addicted to GH) become standard fare on my television.

SAVE THE QUARTERMAINES!

*The biggest complaint I hear from ex-soap fans is that "the couples keep changing" so if soap writers and networks really wanted to invest in the genre, they'd stop this ridiculous trend. In youth, we all change loves frequently but by our middle lives, we learn that rapid & changing love affairs are unhealthy and bring only sadness. Each character should be allowed to find their true love and be with that person for the rest of their time on the soap. Each stage of life brings challenges and joys - only a lack of creativity can't figure out how to make families as interesting as the first sexual experience with a partner - and, to be honest, even those encounters have lost their "hotness" since it's always the beginning of the couple's end. But I read some articles about GH's 40th birthday that made me believe that ABC doesn't care if GH lasts another 40 years. I think they're pretty much just waiting for us old fans to lose our purchasing power. But if you ask me, soap writers need to spend some time in the romance aisle. This soap has all the ingredients but the writers don't seem to understand how to mix it all together to make a yummy romance. Here's one important element: no one reads a romance for a tragic ending. So, get your hope on....love really can survive. And without love, there is no hope for soaps.

**Still, I may choose a slow painful death over Jason/Carly...oh no, oh no, oh no! Okay. That's out. I am so grateful for Tivo when I see this pairing be introduced as the transition away from my beloved Liason. I have shuddered to think of the future - Carly's manipulations to get Jake away from Elizabeth. A repeat of Michael's storyline....oh spare me!

Moments before the Quartermaine Death March Struck a Dark Chord...

2008-04-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

Probably my favorite 2 minutes of GH in history (close 2nd: Jax proposed to Brenda):

My favorite line: "Now is not the time to show off your answer-avoidance skills."
Second favorite: "I already asked you twice and you said no both times."

Oh, romance. Oh, love. How I long for thee...

And for anyone who doesn't think my poorly written last post is an example of pure character genius (I'm not humble when it comes to Jason - I was right - I've been watching GH for at least 15 years)...Jagger & Karen scenes can be found on YouTube.

Now, I must go and be spoiled or watching Liason say goodbye for the umpteenth time may break my heart. These scenes were everything I love about Jason & Liz. I cried and I laughed and I loved them both more for it. Maybe someday I'll get to see them say, "Our relationship & family matters more than anyone else in Port Charles"...but they are still too self-sacrificing.

The Many Loves of Jason Quartermaine

2008-04-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

Although I think I began to watch General Hopital long before Jason, Robin and Karen reached high school, the young love triangle is my first real memory of the show. I liked Karen - she was a somewhat-curvy redhead and I was going through early puberty as a chunky redhead. So, I found a little comfort in watching her as the love that good guy Jason sought. Robin was annoying to me (kudos to the actress for maintaining character traits for such a long period) but she played her part as the lovesick little girl very well. Then there was Jagger. Jagger with his black leather coat. Jagger with his motorcycle. Jagger with his charming smile. Jagger who helped women in crisis. Jagger.

To say that I had a MAJOR crush on Jagger would be akin to pretending I didn't wear a New Kids on the Block t-shirt. Some things are just bald-faced lies. As soon as Jagger entered the scene, I saw no other man for Karen (or myself). I was a Jagger-Karen fan and as Karen revealed her sexual abuse and went through soap self-destruct mode - it was Jagger that I wanted at her side.

And that made me sad for Jason. Jason was always so good and dependable. He was the responsible peace-maker in his wacky home. He was pitted against his brother (through no fault nor desire of his own) and felt guilty about AJ's self-destruct. Jason was honorable. He let go of Karen when he saw where her heart found home and he never held her responsible. I loved Jason - the good, decent, kind, loyal person as he was written.

I cried the day of the accident. In those days, soap reports were vague and there were no Internet spoilers. I was sure that Jason would be a tragic figure in GH. I couldn't imagine that Jason would be taken from us by AJ - AJ who was the victim of his parent's limitations. I wanted redemption for AJ (and did until the day of his death), not another reason for him to be belittled in a verbally abusive home. But there was Jason lying with "permanent brain damage" and I knew enough of soaps to be sure the outcome would be unusual at least.

Jason woke up, eventually, but with a radically changed personality. Jason woke up and wanted black leather coats, dangerous women, motorcycles, and to rescue women in distress. Jason wanted to be Jagger. When his mind got fritzed and he could choose who he would be - he chose Jagger. And there was only one reason I could see: Jagger had won a women whom Jason had loved completely. I realized at that moment that if Jason were a real person, I would have had to acknowledge the toll that Karen's preference for Jagger had exacted of Jason.

I can make no claims that the writers thought this through but it's been a defining lens through which I view Jason. My original compassion for him has only grown through the years. Jason seems never content with the options he has. Just like Jagger, Jason doesn't want the hot and available women who toss themselves at dangerous men though he falls in love with them whenever they need his rescue (see Carly & Sam). Like Jagger, he has no use for the overtly moral and grounded Robin. But despite the fact that Jason has truly embodied Jagger (and I refuse to accept Jagger as reinvented on Port Charles - publicity stunts are not characters) and yet failed to get his version of Karen.

I suppose I should mention who Karen was (this is some of the worst writing I've ever done but I have 10 minutes and I'm not going to postpone again). Karen was smart but weak. She was a little bit spineless yet lovely. She self-destructed after she revealed sexual assault. She lived at Kelley's for a time and she loved a good motorcycle ride. She was beloved by the Quartermaines, especially Lilah, and she was soft-spoken and struggled to reveal her emotions. Not the classic heroine and not a beloved set of qualities, though a character we saw resurrect - in Elizabeth.

Yes, we've arrived. On the eve of what will likely be (I am choosing to be unspoiled because it will ruin Friday's loveliness for me) the end of Liason (again) due to ongoing violence and Sonny's current "I get to leave the mob but nobody else can" storyline, I am going to write the reason I will always believe that Elizabeth is Jason's true love. Even if I never see them on-screen again in a romantic sense (and the past 2 years were quite lovely - thank you, TPB, though I wish I had seen them truly live this whole story), I will always believe that Elizabeth is the woman Jason wanted as Jason Quartermaine and as Jagger 1 (aka Jason Morgan). It's all about Karen.

In order for Jason to have a "true love" that woman would have to be equally appealing to the internal person that was Jason Quartermaine and the external skin personality of Jason Morgan. Because no amount of brain damage can truly change every aspect of personality. Jason Quartermaine influences Jason Morgan. And when Jason got to choose who to be - well, he chose to be Karen's true love reincarnated. So, only a reincarnation of Karen would meet the need.

Elizabeth was so like Karen. She kinda bumbled through her life. She was best friends with Emily Quartermained (aha, the Quartermaine connection) but never could define herself. She has strength - but mostly she is weak. She lived at Kelley's and she loved motorcycles. She had an innocence that never seemed to fit her lifestyle. She felt out of place, unloved, and victimized - something that also defined Karen as she struggled to choose between Jagger & Jason.

When Elizabeth was raped just as Jason went through the loss of Michael, I wondered if the writers were purposefully revisiting Karen & Jagger. It was a good storyline - and that's likely the only reason they chose the replay. But I found the similarities between Jagger & Karen to be so obvious. The chemistry was good between the characters - they relax with each other and I often find them at their most interesting when paired - it's as though new life shows up for each one. They were happy together, but neither could really give up the outer piece of themselves - Liz is plagued by a need to be properly accepted by society and Jason is thwarted by his need to be properly rejected by society. It's a good old-fashioned love story - and it would fade if I hadn't noticed the Jagger & Jason connection. It just seems to me that Elizabeth is the only woman Jason has ever met who would have been loved by Jason Quartermaine (remember that JQ found Robin a wee bit annoying) and Jason Morgan.

I see the possibility of both people teaching the other one so much about life. To me, that is rich storytelling. I long for them to plant their feet on the ground and refuse to give up. I want to see Monica's line to Elizabeth (You remind me so much of Emily.) to be portentous. Elizabeth, as the chain between Jason Quartermaine and Jason Morgan, could also be the Lilah/Emily figure now missing from the Quartermaine melee...and she could help Jason to be a full person while breathing new life into the family. It would be a redemption for both Jason and Liz, though, because Liz needs to finally take a stand in her life. The Karen in her needs to choose Jagger. I saw her do that on Friday - but can it last? I don't know. I've been watching for 15 years to see what I saw on Friday....and I have no idea if it will continue. I wish it would. Stories of redemption wtih this much context are such a rarity in TV these days. And the ability to unite and ignite history - infusing a sense of tradition and longevity into the show - could change soaps from a dying brand to the place to go for grand, far-reaching romances...at a time when many people feel that love is a lost concept.

So, that's my take on Jason. I hate where he may be on Monday (at the head of the mob, I assume) - I want Friday and all its promise of a new forward-moving storyline that incorporates growth, renewal, and reconnection with the Quartermaines.

The mourning period

2008-03-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it's been more intense than expected. I was watching GH and I thought "wow, this sucks" and then I went back to the start and there was no Garin. I spent a few days in complete, abject grief over the change back to guns, guns, and more guns - the loss of a possible Jason transition and the rapid switch in Johnny's character - the lack of good Scrubs moments - and the quick clean-up of what had been really interesting storytelling. It was harsh. Very, very harsh.

There was glimmer yesterday, though, and I've noticed Michael Conforti is still listed as a writer. Maybe ABC learned a little something. I wouldn't mind some Guza plot action combined with some Garin-esque people-writing. That would be rockin' awesome. But, alas, when I saw some lovely Liason and Jax/Carly (what is their acronym?) - all I could think was, "Well, this must be the kiss of death for 2 romances."

I still haven't forgiven Guza for the gross Carly/Jason sequence when she was drowning. Blech. The only thing worse than Jason being 100% back to the mob would be Jason 100% with Carly in the mob. An flame me if you please. I love Carly but never liked her with Jason - she's Sonny's true love and a pretty good mate for Jax. That's really enough for one woman.

But I'll stop being so grumpy and be grateful for what was good yesterday: Jason's tearfulness as he spoke with Monica, the nice Liason moment, and the Jax/Carly moment in the nursery. That was good drama. And I'll enjoy it...while it lasts.

Since I know that non-stop gunfire is soon to be a reality, I've found myself in a momentary love affair with One Life to Live in order to assuage my pain. Rex and Gigi are so adorable - all that confusion and hidden attraction...reminds me why I fell so hard for soaps back when I was young and idealistic...just a good old-fashioned romance over there at OLTL. If you find yourself licking wounds over GH, you may want to see what the neighbor has to offer.

With a fond adieu...

2008-03-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it's coming. Guza's episodes will soon return to my screen.

*sigh*

I knew Garin Wolf couldn't stay forever, but I was invested in the fantasy wherein ABC realized that we need Guza for sweeps and Garin for everything else. I just...well....I find Guza's day-to-day and sad excuse for romance (i.e. random sex) so exhausting.

Garin...oh, Garin....I thank you for all of Johnny's scenes. The tortured, in-love artist with the woman who can barely stay true to herself - a lovely juxtaposition of the errors of over-fantasized love in a world of cruel reality. I love that you wrote Liz & Jason in a state of suspended animation - even they don't know what to make of their own choices. I've enjoyed Carly, adored Scrubs (who I never liked before - too much 'we had random sex and now we'll argue about it'), fell in love with LuSam, worried about Monica, and felt the cast come alive as they represented persons I might actually know. Sure, you wrote action like it's described at a pitch meeting ("...then someone gets shot...") but I take the 90% wonderful over the 10% okay/sure/whatever.

I'm going to be strong. I've come through worse with GH. And there will be May to enjoy - Guze writes sweeps like no other. I just wish I had recorded every episode over the past month.

They are known for their much speaking.

2008-03-05T18:24:00.000-08:00

5 Thoughts brought about by today's episode:

1. Liz. Darling. I love you, I do. But your spine must still be packed up at the studio with all your art supplies. There is a time and place to throw away your inhibitions. Yours just past. See it go. Wave bye-bye as the moment to find yourself disappears.

2. Just watching Diane and Alexis makes me smile. Clearly, lawyers believe in justification of all behavior, even their own.

3. What?! Devlin is Dr. Jekyll? Seriously - Sam needs to hold onto Lucky with all her might. He may be the only non-murderous guy she'll ever know. I was kinda diggin' on him. I love his medical talk and I nearly swooned when he made literary references. But now he's given me a big case of the higgety jibbeties.

4. Wow. Green screens. You're kidding me - this is the special effects extravaganza? I saw this on Disney Channel last week during Wizards of Waverly Place. Granted, I don't know anyone who's been wandering around saying, "Whoa! Those soap opera action sequences just blow my mind!"

5. And as a warning to all, "Secrets will out." If soap operas teach any truth, there it be.

Detailing

2008-03-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

I love detail. Character elements that give mega information in byte-sized packages. I think they're marks of a good creation - a character who has more life than can be breathed out in a single exhale.

Like Johnny writing music on prison walls. I had enjoyed his story about sitting at the piano and making his father smile. His escape into music was a cute element of a troubled childhood. But the amplification of what could have been a simple memory into Johnny's figurative escape from a mental hospital prison.....lovely, perfect, enchanting...in my opinion. My Tivo is permanently paused on minute 51 so that I can listen to Debussy and watch Johnny draw music notes on padded walls.

Minute 53 wasn't bad either, as the subtext for Patrick and Robin exploded into concrete language. The statement, you can lean on me, was rich in unspoken truth - and I applauded the writers for not doing Baby Jake part deux but instead writing a moment where two people came to mutual understanding with hesitation and confusion.

Two minutes of television - that's all it was. But two minutes of excellent storytelling wherein a few solitary details told more story than a thousand pictures or a hundred word soliloquy.

Lest I be misinterpreted!

2008-02-29T12:20:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I was just in rotten mood on Wednesday...but never be concerned. I love my GH more every day (thank you, Garin Wolf). I complain about it the way a woman complains about her children - sure, you may like a little tweaking to the system but overall it's a love that endures the test of time. Nancy mentioned that she liked Claudia and Jason's interaction - I did, too. I'm not "on board" with the romance potential but that's due to one fact....

I'm so over Jason & the mob. I love Sonny - he's a mobster. He'll always be a mobster. He leaves but he always comes back. But Jason is a protector and I think his need to protect his family would so far outweigh his need to protect the mob that his loyalty to Sonny is threatened. But I will love him if I'm wrong. I've been watching for almost 2 decades just to see the time when Jason returns to the Quartermaines. I am an inconquerable Liason romantic, no matter how often it's half-slaughtered. And I still want Laura and the Quartermaines to get screen time. I'm an elephant - faithful 100% - no matter how often I'm disappointed. And please don't mistake disappointment for lack of love. I'm committed (see: elephant) to keeping a positive I love GH thread on this blog.

That said, I read a rumor that Jason could lose use of his hands and I am tripping with excitement that my hopes for a Quartermaine return could be imminent. I have so longed for an experience that forced Jason to need his mommy. I would particularly love it if he returned with a Lila replacement who could be the heart and maternal instinct of the Quartermaine family.*

While I'm on the subject of maternal instinct....when did I become a Carly/Jax fan? When did the writers remember that family life is full of interesting drama and struggle, too? (Oh - that's right - when the writer's strike gave me Garin Wolf. Have I mentioned today that I love him? I digress I know - but I really, really love him.) The scene in the nursery was so adorable and romantic - all in one kinda funny package mixed with green paint (But, Carly, I didn't mind the color - I thought it would make for a pretty park room). I miss Carly as the dysfunctional person she used to be - but the show needs a cool mom and family - and I've always kinda liked that Carly changed herself completely when she became a mother. It's a nice commentary on the power of motherhood...now if she'd only paid more attention to the psychosocial state of the kid before he got the gun - but soap operas are all about bad choices and their consequences - I wish they weren't being so "safe". Guns are bad deals in the hands of kids. At some point, they have to stop being so basic ice cream and get gritty. Still - I have liked Michael's storyline A LOT and am very grateful they've at least touched on the issues real parents are trying to confront: drugs, guns, and kids with no sense of establishment.

Port Charles and the Functional Dysfunctional Family

2008-02-27T17:15:00.000-08:00

Shout-out to Allison and Lola et al....nice to see you....sorry it took me so long to say hello.

As I watched Johnny (I love Brandon Barash) interact with Claudia (I love Sarah Browne) and then watched Patrick & Robin (I don't love them but I would send them a Christmas card), I realized why the Quartermaines have died: they haven't been allowed to function in their dysfunction. That's the key to a really strong soaps family. They're a mess - but they sure do love each other.

I think it's funny to see the Zaccharas emerging. Now - granted - they have amazingly good actors giving really great portrayals. Johnny and Claudia have nailed sibling interaction - that strange sense of wanting to control what's out of control and none of your business but is your business...and all the guilt in between. And Daddy Zacchara has been joy, joy, joy from day one.

All that said, I'm sad for the Quartermaines. I'm sad they couldn't pull it together. I'm sad they lost their functional piece when Lila died - and I've always thought that could be resurrected with the right combination (See: character who enjoys painting, loves children, and is a quintessential maternal figure) but at present, the Quartermaines are fading from memory. Even Monica - in the midst of a HUGE storyline - is absent. She's discussed and mentioned - but absent in person.

I miss the Quartermaines. They kept me watching the show through some dull years. I remember the days when everyone ended up at ELQ or wandering around the mansion. And I want the clan saved. I do. I want to enjoy them as much as I enjoy Johnny and Claudia because the Quartermaines are great comic intervention, great drama, and always make me grateful I didn't have to live in Port Charles.

So, much love to Garin Wolf (yes, I plan to mention his name in every post while he's around) for breathing life into the Zaccharas, bringing back Sonny's madness, loving Spinelli's mistaken everythings, and letting Jason look like he's in love....I wish there had been some genius in the genius for the Quartermaines.

Favorite moment of the week: Johnny asking Claudia "Are you on something? Have you thought about being on something?" Truly - the caring sibling attempted intervention followed by other sibling craziness - just lovely human interaction.

Least favorite moment: Diego is the killer??!! Sell. Out. Serial killers kill for no reason but power plays and the thrill (if Criminal Minds has taught me anything.) It was all more interesting when he was just killing hot chicks. But I give props to Sam - I do enjoy her when she's being kick-butt Angelina Jolie wannabe. But Diego? Really? *sigh*

Fingers Crossed Moment for next week (I've decided I'll start rumors rather than read spoilers...): Can Lucky and Sam get back together? Please...please....can he come to the rescue of someone? Please? If not him - then I'd love to see Spinelli. His private eye fantasies amuse me so much and a good save would fuel that fire.

A spoiler that made me laugh

2008-02-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

In the unofficial GH spinoff, Ric’s Adventures in Martha’s Vineyard...

Ha ha. Hahahahaha. Very true - Soaps on ABC writer - very true.

However, I found something compelling in the Ric/Marianna storyline yesterday - illegal immigrant indentured servitude is a problem we pretend doesn't exist in America. I owe this wonderful turn of storytelling to the marvelous Garin Wolf, who continues to just blow me away with the humanity and depth of character understanding and subtle plot movements.

On that note, I am worried about who the TMK is....and I'm not the least bit tired of the storyline. With each false step, I grow more worried - not about the deaths - but about the possibility that I could lose Johnny.

I didn't keep track of the death reveals. The connections between them were so obvious - apart from Georgie and Maxie - that it seemed dull and, typically, whodunit soaps style requires little more thought than paying attention to who is doing the evil gloating laugh and suddenly has "spooky" screentime. And, thus it seemed with Daniel behind the counter, who has an injured side and a cell phone. But the recent turn with Logan has made me worry about Johnny....and since Spinelli conveniently forgot that he knew Coop's whereabouts when Georgie was killed...and everyone seems to have forgotten where everyone else was during the Black & White Ball (wasn't LuLu with Logan or Johnny when Emily was killed and the other one during the attack on Carly??!!) - well, I feel like everyone is fair game again. I don't know what I'd do if they went back to Johnny as a short-term character - but I'll say this - wherever Brandon Barash lands himself, the show/play/theatrical/experimental will gain one more viewer....he's just wonderful and his ability to tilt from reckless to goofy to romantic hero makes me all forms of happy.

One more note in a rambling post - I think Devlin is the guy pulling Jerry's strings and I'm ready for that reveal. There should be a one mystery only rule on soaps - I think we're up to 4 now (though WE know who shot Kate) and it's starting to make my head hurt.

Oh - and I about died of happiness when Patrick ordered medically-relevant labs during Logan's surgery. Garin, have I mentioned that I love you (and props to Conforti - whoever HE is)? I wish it could last. But you're probably an aged golfer who only came out of retirement because you're well past the years where you worried about guilds and residuals and politics. Well, you'll be missed should you go because it's been a wonderful break (can't you just SEE the actors respond to storylines that make sense? Each one seems to have found inspiration lately. I've loved, loved, LOVED the past week.): Patrick ordered a Prothrombin Time and Robin is going to tell the truth and each character is smack in the middle of something interesting. Really, it's been the best gift a writer's strike could ever give a soap fan.

Garin Wolf, I think I love you

2008-02-17T16:09:00.001-08:00

Garin Wolf*.

You wrote my favorite episode of Night Shift and 2 really wonderful episodes of GH this January. And Wikipedia even gives you credit for some of the best years in GH history - 1997-1998. I know you're a SCAB and probably not long to be seen at GH, so I decided to write you a letter for the whole world to see.

I love you.

When you write the show, there are lovely moments of human realism, like when Jason looked at Claudia, offering herself up like 2-day-old meat on special at the market, and said in response to her veiled offer of cheap nameless or not-so-nameless sex, "Maybe that should tell you something." Under your pen, I watched Carly & Jax have a conversation that could occur in any middle school child's bedroom in America (especially given a week of multiple school shootings). I watched couples try and be families, people learn about loneliness, and stammerers stammer in ever-endearing run-on sentences. The characters don't function in isolation and the characters lost that haze of "what's my motivation here" that has been painful to watch. You understand that Sonny and Jason have reached an ending. You're not afraid to paint Claudia as lonely and desperate (because Sarah Browne can handle that beautifully). You love Johnny's darkness and LuLu's dumbness (she went to a class - hallelujah) and Nadine's silliness (the duck is precious). You let those be qualities that produce plots not qualities created for plots and randomly shoved into whichever character needs screen time.

I'm watching Friday's episode again and lamenting the end of the writer's strike. Almost every moment is so rich in the qualities that make me love soaps. Elizabeth has personality. Sam's victimization seems more human and less shrill. Kate became less vanilla and more insecure. Your medical jargon even made sense. You also seem aware that hospitals are more than a single nurse's station. In your GH, there are physical therapists and a pediatrics unit. Why, if left to your own devices, I bet a dietitian would wander across the screen eventually.

I know it can't last forever. The cloud of Guza's ego is threatening the horizon. Soon, I will be treated to his ongoing hatemail to FOX meant to illustrate why he should be writing 24 instead of some lousy soap. I don't feel like you feel that way, Garin Wolf. When I see your name at the start of an episode, I put away my Tivo remote and listen to each word. Because you write people in all their messy glory and seem to love our characters as much as we do. So, here's my offer: wherever you find yourself, drop me a line. I don't care if you're writing Maxwell House commercials...I'll give it ratings. Because you deserve a fan.

So, thank you. I wish you success. You were a wonderful part of my recent afternoons.

Sincerely -

glo

*Now, irony dictates that one day I'll discover that Garin Wolf is the SCAB pseudonym of Guza. Nevertheless, I will go on with this letter because I hope that whatever alternate universe gave us Garin Wolf will keep spinning in line with ours.

Oh - and a shout-out to Nancy. Welcome. Thanks for commenting. Nice to have someone stop on by...

Thank you, Spinelli. That was oddly comforting.

2008-02-11T15:46:00.001-08:00

I haven't yet listened to the Daily Confidential podcast to find out what *they* mean by "suprising chemistry at ABC" but my vote belongs to Maxie and Spinelli. I can't explain it - Maxie deserves worse and Spinelli deserves better - but they make me laugh. And smile. And grin a bit when the show careens back towards coupling for storyline sake only (That's another loosely veiled complaint about Kate/Sonny & Ric/Marianna).

I'll enjoy Maxie/Spinelli while it lasts...

So, last week had some good moments and I feel a countdown coming on...hold on for a Top 5:

1. Max/Spin bungling PI work leads to accidental comforting

2. Johnny's line "But you do make me feel funny...in a good way." He said it so cute & goofy - Brandon Barash is my new soaps addiction.

3. Elizabeth asking Jason if he could come up with a way to get them together in one house - what?! Adults can problem solve?! Say it ain't so....

4. Discovering that my Tivo jump-forward button, if pressed twice, will get me through any Ric/Marianna scene

5. Sarah Brown's line "Well, as long as we don't like the same men, we'll be great friends." Hahahaha....I love a good tongue-in-cheek nod to the past.

I watched All My Children and One Life to Live and Young & the Restless last week as well and, while Y&R is much better soap in general, of the ABC soaps, GH remains my truest love. Especially since the faux-ER look of AMC is enough to make me giggle and guffaw in rude & unacceptable fashion....you just can't use 'gritty' filming while doctors say lines, such as, "If I give them a bigger dose of the anti-venom, then I think it will interfere with the poison. I don't know how but it just might work." Wow. I was overcome with the intellectual paucity of it all.

Yep. That entire paragraph was just so I could make fun of one line by Angie. I'm a soap opera watching genius, I am.

Spoiler I most hope is true:

......

...........

*crickets chirping*

*sigh* It's going to be a long February.

If I close my eyes, will it end sooner?

2008-02-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

They're kidding me, right?

We're not really doing who done it x 2, right? It's not possible. It's a level of ridiculousness that I can't fathom. So - we don't know who killed Emily, who the text message killer could be, who's the daddy of half the town....and now we have to play who struck Sam? I'll admit I was tempted but I seem to be the ONLY person not on the road that night. As if the mob, a serial killer, and a thoroughly inept police force weren't enough to make Port Charles the least safest streets in America...and that's before I complain about "who struck Sam" being the vehicle (pun intended) to break up Liason (again) and LuSam (who I love) in order to put JaSam and Luz back together....I'm so glad...I was afraid the characters would change, grow, and develop - do really wacky stuff like find out love can be found in unusual places....learn to forgive, be a family and support each other in new ways...sick idea isn't it?! Phew. Thank heavens all soaps are plot-based now so I don't have to go through the ordeal of emotional maturity!

That said....can you believe Carly and Sonny slept together again? They have the hottest sex. Oh, wait. That wasn't Carly. Massive flashbacks, eh? I've always loved Sarah Brown. I hope she has sex with Jerry next. That would be hot. Ewww...can you imagine her with Jax? Ick. (Side note: I kinda like the Kate & Jax stuff...is that awful of me? I just find her too vanilla for Sonny...and what's with the "I broke his heart" stuff - as though he's never had sadness before? Uhm....someone needs a shot of humble.) Maybe she could have sex with Lucky, too. Yum. Not Jason, though. I always thought they looked like brother and sister. Guess that means Johnny's off the market - and, dang, I wanted to see Brandon Barash....okay, moving on. Let's see, after Sonny, Jerry, and Lucky, she could give Mac a reason to grin...he needs a little somethin' somethin'. And then....oh, the plot? Did we need one? Why? Sarah + [insert hot guy] = sex-based ratings, baby (and requires no writer - double score!).

Ah. Criticizing GH makes a bad, emotional week a little more bearable. Especially when one has been accused of being complicated, dramatic, and difficult - GH is like coming home and kicking the dog.

I kid you not

2008-01-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

So, I got a threat in my email in-box. Someone had responded to my comment on a general hospital board. Basically, the comment said, "Like Sam & Jason or else" and was followed by the high school strong-arm man 'No One'. No One was warning me. Warning me that if I don't run around the Internet bashing anyone who isn't Sam then I, too, would be part of the out crowd.

*gasp*

What horrors!

I wouldn't belong to one of the meanest groups of Internet posters I've had the misfortune to see on the Internet. I'm not sure I'll survive but I've decided to try No One at his word. And so I decided to start up my old blog site with just one purpose - to say whatever it is I want to say about GH without having to put up with anyone seeking out my email address to make sure I say what No One wants said. Oh for silly, says I.

On to GH. I have no excuse for loving this soap as much as I do. But I love it. I started watching when Jax, Karen and Jason were the resident love triangle. I was in shock when Jason had his accident. I fell in love with the innocence of his relationship with Liz. I hated Brenda so much I learned the joy of the mute button while watching soaps. I was enthralled by Sonny & Carly (still am) and I have always been jealous that Skye got to be adopted into the Quartermaines. I cried when Emily died and I absolutely LOVE LuLu & Johnny - even if they are rehashing old storylines....we've kinda been there, done that with the whole "I got hurt saving you and now need antibiotics" bit.

But still I love my GH.

So, where do I stand today and why....quick catch-up and then I can move forward from this point:

1. I believe in character-driven plots, moments of artistic integrity, and reality. I don't believe Sex & the City represented the only way women & men can interact and I appreciate a show that casts a wide net and tries to represent many different aspects of society - GH is far from this ideal but my love of Liz will make more sense if you 'get' my philosophy on character.

2. Like every fan, nonsensical choices by the writers make me mad. I do not think that Sam & Jason's breakup was one of those moments. I thought it was a wonderful moment of self-destruct on both character's parts. However, I think most of the writing surrounding Liz & Jason's plotline makes no sense and Sonny & Kate are trying too hard. Logan is LAME and most of Baby Jake has just been annoyingness.

3. I love the Quartermaines. They make me happy. Edward is my favorite character. I wish he would marry Lady Jane.

4. Jason is the character who most has my compassion. I will probably discuss this at length later so, suffice it to say, he and I have been through a lot together and I want him to choose his own happiness. During the Sam years I don't think Jason was happy - I think he was doing more of what he always does - taking care of Sonny's problems and rescuing damsels in distress.

5. Jax deserves better. Why is he so hard to write in love? But he is - I can't even think up a woman who would work for him. Why? It makes no sense. He should be the dashing romantic hero but he's as hard to cast as a lover as Alexis and Diane. Sad. Sad, sad, sad.

7. Diane has been created with pure comic genius and a good dose of believability. Kudos to writers and actress. She's fabulous.

8. I am ready for Liz & Jason to both accept that Jake has changed them forever and become more well-rounded characters. Jason, hon, leave the mob. It's time. Liz, dearest, you were a bad girl once. It's time to remember that you have a lot of strength in you and can face your choices not hide behind Lucky just because he's been so good at defining you.

9. Johnny by Brandon Barash. Love him. P.S. to Sonny - let him take Jason's place so I can see Jason grow and you can still have a hot guy with a gun. Brandon is my favorite new thing on GH in years.

10. Emily. Nicholas. Whatever.

11. Love Robin the single mom. Hate that they used the "accidental pregnancy" ruse. Stupid, stupid, stupid. They had a chance to be edgy and frontline as soaps used to be - and, instead, they recycled script #52.

12. Sam. Huh. Well, not my favorite. But if she didn't come with the evil posters, I suppose I could tolerate her. I like her with Lucky, actually, and find the constant war of good v. evil in her character to be intriguing. Hated her as the milquetoast mobster's moll with Sonny & Jason. Oh blech. I spent a miserable day on YouTube trying to understand the meansters on the web - but, alas, it was for naught. The only time I liked her was when she was on Everyday Heroes. (Oh - and I miss Amelia. Loved her. Sorry for 24 being postponed. Sadness.)

13. I think Patrick will give me a STD if I watch another love scene. Now that I know he uses faulty condoms, I am glad for fast forward function. I enjoy my sexual health and he just leaves me feeling used and disgusted.

14. I want MORE Diane, Jason & Liz, Lucky & Sam, Robin (but please - not with Jason - that was a childhood fling that ended appropriately - oh and writers - Robin is INSANE about honesty - so, the baby storyline - even lamer than it was with Liz), Alexis, Johnny, Anthony, Spinelli, Quartermaine family, Nadine, and storylines about people growing and changing through love, circumstance, and personal choice. I want LESS Sonny & the mob, Carly, Patrick, gun-toting, bed-hopping, nurses of any variety (there are OTHER disciplines in a hospital), tortured Nickolas & Emily, non-existant Quartermaines, and storylines driven only by how many bullets can be fired. It would also be nice if Laura came back.

That's the basic summary....comments are on moderation. I can only imagine how long it would take for the Samsters to string me up...they're making me crabby and obstinate. I may like her more if 'they' weren't so mean girl.

Favorite spoiler of the week: Jason tells off Carly in time for my birthday. Happiness!

The time has come!

2007-05-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

Well, Internet, it's been a long while. I'm happy, healthy, and all back together now. Thanks for waiting. Now on that note...here's a little essay on the top 10 ways to heal:

Step 1: Get creative

Step 2: Drink lots of water

Step 3: Take a few risks

Step 5: Take time to enjoy nature

Step 6: Say goodbye to old habits

Step 7: Do something good for the world

Step 8: And then move on....

I've officially moved. The project isn't complete, but I'm ready to write again. So, here's my last photo essay at this site. For further adieu and more....I'll see you at

http://graceeaseplease.blogspot.com/

Catch you 'round the Internet!

In process of relocation...

2007-04-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

The new blog isn't ready for public viewing. It's not hard to find if you're curious, but it's getting extensive plastic surgery. Thus, it won't be unveiled for a while.

TTFN!

Glo